Hey everyone! It’s been a while since my last blog, apologies for that! Squad leading has been such an incredible journey and because of that, I haven’t even known what to write a blog about these last few weeks because in all honesty, I don’t think I’ve been able to process all that the Lord has been doing just quite yet. My goal with this blog is just to give a small snapshot of all that I feel like I am able to verbalize up to this point, so bear with me!

L Squad made it to Manzini, Eswatini on July 1st and began CarePoint ministry on the 3rd. CarePoints are places throughout Swazi communities that provide children with a meal (many of which is likely their only meal that day) and a place to feel safe & seen. If you’ve heard me talk about CarePoint ministry from my original World Race gap year, you’d know that at that point in time, Eswatini and CarePoint ministry was not my favorite season of the race. Coming into my third race, this time as a squad leader, and knowing I was going to be returning to a nation and type of ministry my heart didn’t have the utmost excitement for felt like a minor hurdle that I knew the Lord was going to have to help me get over. 

On our first day at our CarePoint, I met Walker (name changed for privacy), a 14 year old boy who is nonverbal and has special needs. Walker loves soccer, although he has some musculoskeletal development delays that prevent him from being able to move and run at the pace of his peers. So when Walker wanted the ball, he’d grab my hand and lead me to whichever kid had it last, motioning me to bring it to him. After a few times of him doing this, we quickly got into a rhythm of me bringing the ball over to him and him drop kicking it as far as he possibly could with the biggest smile on his face. As someone who has previously served in children with special needs’ ministries and the daughter of a former special education teacher, I was easily drawn to Walker from the moment we met. My heart broke for him knowing that the same kind of care and education for children with special needs that exists in the States is not universal and that he likely doesn’t receive the same attention or care as he would if he were in America. But very quickly none of that seemed to matter because of the overwhelming joy and love Walker displayed through his contagious laughter and joyous smile. Getting to know Walker has continually reminded me of 1 Peter 1:8-9, “Though you have not seen him, you love him; though not seeing him now, you believe in him, and you rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” Walker’s joy may be inexpressible because he himself is nonverbal, but that does not mean that he cannot communicate his happiness through other means. In the same way, we might not always verbalize the entire gospel to a stranger on the street or preach repentance from a pulpit, but in everything we do, we can still express the joy of the Lord through our smiles and actions.

Walker has also brought so much redemption to my heart for Eswatini and CarePoint ministry. As I had briefly mentioned, CarePoint ministry wasn’t really my cup of tea on my first race largely due to my lack of appreciation and interest in kid’s ministry. But there was one day when I was sitting with Walker this past week as he was eating his lunch and he was holding my hand and he turned to look at me and just smiled. In that moment tears filled my eyes because I was overwhelmed at the Lord’s kindness and goodness. He didn’t have to bring me back to Eswatini at all. He didn’t have to allow me to meet Walker and be blessed by his inexpressible joy. He didn’t have to redeem my heart for CarePoint ministry and the beauty of loving His children in the same ways I’ve been loved. He didn’t have to do any of this and yet He still did. It has been over two years since I first stepped foot in Eswatini and when I left that first time I never would’ve thought I’d ever be back, but I am, and I could not be more grateful.

Another incredible way the Lord has been moving has been through L Squad (no surprise there!). Our first weekend here in Manzini, myself and two of my racers got hit with pretty bad food poisoning. And then three more did. And then three more. And then two more. We had four trips to the local clinic within 72 hours where we were all getting IVs, blood draws, and prescriptions left and right. It felt like my worst nightmare as a squad leader was coming true. Afterall, I’ve experienced being sick overseas multiple times and I know what to do and how to take care of myself, but how was I supposed to look after the portion of the Good Shepherd’s flock He’s entrusted me for this season while also being sick myself? While this may sound dramatic, seeing my racers sick was genuinely gutwrenching. I’ve never loved or cared for a group of people in such a way than I realized I did while my squad was sick. I didn’t even care that they were missing ministry or that we were unable to have squad meetings, I just wanted them to feel and be better. In the midst of my pleading to the Lord for His healing hand to touch our squad, He gently reminded me “Hannah I know you love them, but imagine how much more I love and care for them. They were mine before they were yours for this season, and they still are. None of this is held together by you, I’ve got each of you in the palm of my hand.” What a relief! Not only was I reminded that the Lord heard my prayers, but I was also reassured that He was taking care of His children that He’s allowed me to do life with for these 2 months. Just as it says in 1 Corinthians 3:7, “So, then, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” I am nothing without the Lord, no matter if I plant or water or sow. Only He can give the growth, only He can provide, only He can take care of His children! While I can thankfully say that L Squad is mostly back to being healthy and mostly recovered now, I can also thankfully say that every single one of the nine of them is in the Father’s hand, safe and secure.

I hope that this insight is a sufficient glimpse into some of the things the Lord has been so gracious in teaching me these last few weeks, and I apologize if it was a bit all over the place! As L Squad heads into our last week of ministry in Africa, be encouraged that the same God working in a small city in Eswatini is the same God at work wherever you may be as you read this. Be blessed!